I am a creature of habit. I love having a routine, and it’s hard for me to stray once I find something that works. I have slowly settled into a routine at the library, but in the past week, I have decided to throw a couple of wrenches in the works.
I applied to grad school this week. I am excited, but I am also freaking out. I hate change, and since I haven’t been in grad school before, I can’t envision how my schedule will change. I am excited to be studying the things I will be studying, but I am nervous to have school work hanging over my head.
I think the thing that is freaking me out the most is the fact that recently, I have had glimmers of the fact that my job at the library could turn into a career. Since college, I have had jobs, but I haven’t had a career. I have craved a job that is fulfilling, but now that I am on the cusp of diving into a career, I am feeling a little commitment-phobic.
In the past few months, I have made a couple of routines that I want to hold on to, even when I start my new responsibilities. First, I have been packing Danny’s lunch every night, and it makes me feel like I am taking care of him. And, when I slip a note in, I feel like I am able to give a little joy to his day, even though we aren’t together. Danny and I have also really gotten into these PBS documentaries called Secrets of… They are so good. We watch them on Netflix and from the library since PBS doesn’t come on our television anymore. And, we’ve been able to relax on school nights, and sometimes, we even leave the house. It’s been pretty revolutionary.
I am trying to take each day as it comes, but as you guys probably guess, it’s pretty hard. But, I will continue on and update as I have more information about my grad program!