So, I took a blogging hiatus. I have spent the last week or so being incredibly sad and confused and lonely—mostly thinking about jobs and loans and tons of other crappy things. But, today I decided that I can’t continue living in the sad stuff. I need to find joy and light in daily grind.
In my desire to find order and control, I recently went through a bunch of stuff, and I found this photo. It was from a photo strip, taken before we were married. So, probably it was taken four and a half years ago? Wait, hold the phone—I have been married for almost four years. That’s hysterical. There’s no way I am old enough to be married for four years.
Anyway, back to the picture. When I found this picture, I was really sad. I thought that Danny and I looked so young, so joyful, and so full of hope. And now, I feel like we look haggard and worn out.
After thinking for a little while, I realized that I wouldn’t go back to be these crazy kids. Even though things are so much more incredibly hard than they were then, I still want to be in this moment with Dan, living the life we have now.
So many things have changed since this picture was taken. Let me just give you a glimpse at how life has changed…
1. The only thing I listen to anymore is NPR. Before I was married, I listened to pop radio constantly. But, these days, we just listen to NPR. I’m sure I’m more well-learned than I was back then, but I do miss my guilty pleasure jams every now and again.
2. Danny has seen my morning hair, and he still loves me anyway.
3. Danny always wears a full beard these days. He hasn’t just had scruff in over a year.
4. Back then, Danny and I used to talk to each other in British accents—now, we just speak in grunts and nods, when we even bother addressing each other at all.
5. When I was in college, I took out all of my aggression on the soccer field. Now, I just barrel into Danny while he is washing dishes. We’ve broken a lot of dishes that way, but it keeps me zen.
Ok, now it’s time to go to bed. That’s the real change right there. In college, when this picture was taken, I wouldn’t go to bed until 3 or 4 in the morning. Now, I am lucky to last past 11.
I am an old geezer.