Oh, hair, we don’t always get along. It seems like every time I want to have silky straight hair, you puff out and fill with frizz and waves. When I want to have bohemian, carefree waves, you fall flat and lay straight. I’m frustrated with you.
Then, when Danny takes a picture of you, and tells me that he thinks all of the different shades you possess are really cool, I like you again.
I like that you are red—that makes me feel special. And, I like that you have some natural highlights. Your color has inspired many (ok, one) to claim that the golden highlights sparkle like sunbeams. Or, they shine like spun gold.
But, now that I am thinking so deeply about my thankfulness for my hair color, I remember that someday, you will become gray. That scares me. How can I find a hair dye that will replicate this beauty? I fear that I never will. What if I have to resort to dying my hair brown? Will I lose my wit if I don’t have red hair anymore? Will I still laugh at Parks and Rec—laugh so hard that I fall off the couch? Will I still cry every time I think about Michelle Williams giving her Golden Globes acceptance speech?
Who knows. All I know is that you better stay red, or I’m shaving you all off. Don’t make me show you I mean business.