Staying positive

Yesterday, I took this picture. 

I would like to tell you that this is an impressionist portrait of the landscape around me, and I would like you to all believe that I meant for the picture to have a dreamy quality. 

But, to be honest, all of the stuff clouding the picture is really salt on the window of my car. I am now hanging my head in shame. 

In my defense, Danny and I hardly ever drive my car since we drive to work together, and we do live on a busy street, so when it snowed last week, we had constant salt trucks traveling up and down. 

Part of me, though, thinks that this picture is a beautiful portrait of how I want my life to be. I am a mess—I cried after school today due to a parent e-mail, I told just Danny not to breathe so loud (he is stuffy with a cold), and I almost fell down at the grocery store because my knee isn’t as strong as I pretend it is. But, instead of drowning in the mess—my gut reaction, I must confess—I am choosing to find beauty. 

Here’s my beauty for today. I found an essay that affected me in college, and after reading it, I remembered why I became an English major in the first place. Here’s a quote: 

“The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way that any compulsion tries to justify itself.” Joan Didion, “On Keeping a Notebook”

That just struck me today, and I am choosing to reflect on it instead of my mess. Now, I’d better go apologize to Danny and end the day on a loving note. 


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