Top Ten Things That Are Better Than Grading.

10. Falling down a flight of stairs while wearing a skirt and carrying a mug of hot coffee. 

9. Accidentally falling asleep while teaching and letting loose with some “sleep farts” or slarts. 

8. Getting all ten fingers smashed in a car door. 

7. Listening to Danny slurp hot coffee right in my ear. 

6. Teaching through all seven periods with my skirt tucked into my underwear. 

5. Getting a paper cut in between my fingers. 

4. Listening to Josh Groban on repeat for 13 hours. 

3. Scratching my ears and then absentmindedly putting my finger in my mouth, making me taste my own earwax. 

2. Paying off half of my income to the hellhounds at Sallie Mae. 

1. Sitting through two consecutive days of parent/teacher conferences. 

I, Erin Kloosterman, endorse this message and swear by the integrity of the above list. I have tested each and stand by my placements. 

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